


Clarity

by MissingRavn



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Felix appears for like five seconds, Nonbinary Character, Other, Pansexual Character, Transphobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2020-01-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:13:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22143886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissingRavn/pseuds/MissingRavn
Summary: Hyunjin was tired of people judging them due to their gender identity. Maybe it was better to lie.
Relationships: Hwang Hyunjin & Lee Minho | Lee Know, Hwang Hyunjin/Lee Minho | Lee Know
Comments: 4
Kudos: 84





	Clarity

Hyunjin was tired. Tired of being judged. Tired of being harassed. Tired of being insulted.

They understood that it wouldn’t be easy. Being nonbinary in a society which is not fully excepting of some people simply being themselves. They had accepted that not everyone would accept them, and that’s just the way that it’s going to be.But all of the insults and ignorance add up over time. And people are bound to break. 

When men shot them crude remarks in the restroom. Or when older adults outright insult them on public transit. But what was worst out of everything was the dating scene. 

At twenty-one, Hyunjin had never held on to a relationship long. They found it tough to find someone who would accept them. When they were interested in someone, there always seemed to be something wrong. People who ignored their gender identity. People who refused to acknowledge their pronouns. Or even better, people that asked questions that were none of their business. “So, what’s ‘going on’ with you?” Sometimes they felt as though they should just lie to themselves and present as a man to make everything easier. 

So Hyunjin has pretty much given up on relationships. 

That’s what they thought of, while sitting on their couch, stuffing their face with chips.

“Bruh, you good?” 

Hyunjin jumped. They hadn’t expected Jisung to be home. They turned their head to their right to see their room mate bent over, eyeing them like a meme. 

“Since when were you here?” They asked.

“Only about ten minutes. Class ended early. I’m surprised you didn’t hear me come in.”

Hyunjin paused for a bit, then resumed their daily dose of wallowing in self-pity. They slouched back and curled up in a blanket left on the couch.

“Ah, this is about Lee Minho, isn’t it?”

Hyunjin popped their head out of their blanket cocoon to see Jisung in the kitchen, smirking at them.

“...What is?” They asked, even though they had a pretty good idea of what Jisung was referring to.

“You wallowing in whatever _this_ is. You’re thinking about him, that cute guy in our tutorial block.” Jisung went to the fridge to grab a drink.

When Hyunjin doesn’t say anything, Jisung speaks up again.

“You’re probably thinking about how you  _like_ him, but don’t want to be heartbroken again.” He pops the top off of the soda bottle that he had grabbed.

Hyunjin knows that they can’t lie to Jisung. They’ve known each other since they were kids. They used to hate each other actually, but became super close once they started college. 

“... He’s probably straight anyways.” Hyunjin tucks their face back under the blanket.

“Aww, don’t say that, I can help you! I can be your wingman!” Jisung says with a wink. 

Hyunjin forgets about his words until two weeks later.

They’re in their politics lecture. Jisung wanted to take a class together, but why he chose politics as an elective was beyond Hyunjin.It’s not like Jisung actually attended lectures either. The course material was also so dry that Hyunjin was barely conscious to understand what the TA was going on about.

“... And that’s it for today’s lecture. See you all next week!”

Hyunjin was walking to their politics tutorial, conveniently scheduled right after the lecture, when someone taps their shoulder. They turned around to see a man with chocolate brown hair, doe-like eyes, and a tight leather jacket. Lee Minho.

“Hey. You okay? You seemed a bit out of it during the lecture.”

_ He noticed. Crap.  _

“Oh, ha. Yeah, the lectures can be a bit boring at times...”

“Understandable, man. I find myself dozing off from time to time as well.”

Hyunjin is confused. Why was Minho talking to them? The only time that they’ve interacted was during group work in tutorials.

Minho and Hyunjin reach their tutorial room to see Jisung lying on the chairs in a seductive position. He looks like he’s about to ask Hyunjin to draw him as one of their french girls.

“There are my two favourite people! Get over here, I’ve saved you seats.” Jisung sits up and gestures to the two seats on either side of him.

Minho chuckles as they both sit. Hyunjin is skeptical as they feel like Jisung is up to something. They lean over to whisper to him. “Jisung, what’s go-“ But they’re cut off by Jisung putting a finger to their lips. “Shh! Class is starting, Hyunjin!” He says with a mischievous look on his face. 

Their TA begins to talk. “Okay guys, as discussed in the lecture, I will be giving you all the first thirty minutes of class to work on your project.”

“Project?” Hyunjin asks Jisung. 

“Yeah, it’s a group project on one of the topics discussed in this course.” Jisung answers. “I thought I already told you about it!” He nudges Hyunjin, eyeing Minho. 

“Oh, Jisung asked me if I wanted to join you two in the project.” Minho says.

“When was this?” 

“In today’s lecture.”

Hyunjin shoots Jisung the stink eye. “You never attend lectures.”

“Why would I miss such an important day?” Jisung is eating this right up.

They eventually start planning out their project, and Hyunjin gets Minho’s phone number in the process. 

“Okay, great. So I’ll do the beginning, you’ll do the middle...” Minho gestures to Jisung. “... And he’ll do the conclusion?” He says, looking at Hyunjin.

Hyunjin flinches as they see Jisung pick up on the pronoun Minho used for them. 

“Oh, actually Hyunjin is-“ Jisung starts.

“Yes, that’s perfect! Let’s start.” Hyunjin interrupts.

Jisung asks them about it during dinner later that night. 

“Why didn’t you want me to correct Minho?”

“... I don’t want to ruin things. What if he’s not accepting or something? I’ve already had relationships crumble due to my gender identity.” They say, thinking about their strained relationship with their parents.

“Hyunjin...” Jisung looks distraught.

“Please. Don’t say anything, okay?”

And so Minho and Hyunjin start talking. Hyunjin learns about Minho’s passion for dance, and Minho learns of Hyunjin’s obsession with nail art. As it goes on, Hyunjin falls deeper and deeper. Even after the project is over, they continue to hang out. It comes to a point where Jisung jokingly questions his position as Hyunjin’s best friend.

“How long are you going to keep this going for?”

“Jisung, I was in the closet for twenty years of my life. I think I can stay there a bit longer.” 

Hyunjin tries their best. They sometimes question if this is what they should be doing. They have been lying to Minho for the entirety of the semester. This is why at the obligatory big end-of-semester frat party, they try to drink their sorrows away.

Minho had invited them, since he was close to some senior named Chan who apparently “throws the sickest parties”. All Hyunjin can focus on is Minho dancing with some girl across the room while some guy next to them talks their ear off.

“Oi, mate. You want some more?” The guy gestures to his large bottle of Fireball. Was his name... Felix? Hyunjin stopped caring after a while. They’re also pretty sure Felix is trying to flirt with them. 

They’ve had enough. They walked out of the house and simply laid on the front lawn, not caring about the remnants of cigarette buds and blunts. They were sad, stressed out, and drunk at a stupid party. At least the stars in the sky were pretty.

They lost track of how long they’re been lying there, but after a while they started to fall asleep. 

They were woken by someone shaking them before they could truly fall into deep sleep, however.

“Hyunjin! Hey, are you okay?” It was Minho.

“...What? Yeah, why? I’m just tired.”

“Oh geez, don’t scare me like that. I jut walked out here to see you fucking passed out on Chan’s lawn.”

Hyunjin got up and leaned on the fence.

Minho went and joined them.

They stayed like that for a while, just standing side by side. Minho picked up that Hyunjin had a lot on their mind.

“Did you paint your nails again?” He finally breaks the silence.

“Huh?” Minho takes Hyunjin’s hand and studies their nails. They are painted white with a black ombré. 

“They’re really pretty.”

Minho staring at them with that classic smile on his face is all that Hyunjin needs to start talking.

“I’m nonbinary.”

Minho flinches a bit, not expecting that.

“Okay.”

Hyunjin looks down, anywhere except for Minho’s face.

“... What are your preferred pronouns?”

“... They/them.” Hyunjin says, almost in a whisper.

They look back up to see Minho crack a small smile.

“I mean, I pretty much knew. It’s not like I didn’t overhear you and Jisung. I just... didn’t want to impose.”

“Oh.” Hyunjin is going to kill Jisung when they get home.

“Just... why did you lie to me? I thought we were close.”

Hyunjin feels overwhelmed at that very moment. Sadness, guilt, anger, love, combined with the alcohol has brought all of their emotions to the forefront.

“ People... can be scary. Some are not very accepting, or they say that they are but just end up mocking you to everyone else. Look, I didn’t want to lose our friendship, because I mean you accept a lot of the things that I do, like dress feminine and my nail art, but I just really fucking like you so I didn’t want to risk-“

Minho closed the distance between them before Hyunjin could finish talking. 

It was a short kiss. Just a brief touching of lips. But nonetheless, Hyunjin’s heart beats out of their chest. 

“Well then. I guess it’s good that I don’t care about gender.”

“What?” Hyunjin is still processing the fact that _the_ Lee Minho had just kissed them.

Minho runs his hand through Hyunjin’s long hair, which Jisung calls ‘a mini mullet’. “Hyunjin, I’m pansexual. Oh, and I like you too.” He chuckles.

“... Am I Snow White?” Hyunjin asks.

“Hmm?” Minho says, puzzled.

“Because I think I need a kiss to wake me up.”

“That was so corny.”

—————

Hyunjin and Minho did not expect their make out session to be interrupted by Jisung screaming. 

“Felix! I knew it! You owe me twenty bucks!”


End file.
